1. |
Intro
01:44
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2. |
Duffy the Cat
05:58
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hopeless tragic birth
desperate confused youth
endlessly waiting
burying self inside
consumed in their ways
leading to this day
all the days
one atop the other
in piles in a closet
22 long years
fully wasted
on opposing sides
but i can't ever be
what you want to see
not like the others
you know it's real
you can tell by
her hair
her bare arm across his shoulders
and they all agree
this is what it seems
it serves as a reminder
of what i am not
i know you don't ever
want to see
the person that i've become
and i never wanted this
but i could not suppress it
my whole life
you've got a better idea
you say
"take my word"
"heed my advice"
"let me fix your mind
and you'll adjust to your body"
"please, just adjust to your body".
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3. |
Cheapy
01:52
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this might be the only way out
if we cannot create our own signs
if we're forced to take all
influence and change
or worse: stay
we are not the cause
we are houses built in front
of a landslide called a life.
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4. |
Wallace
04:01
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your heart in hand with society
ties cut permanently
cries to "let it go"
inside of me, waiting
the pain the loss and the solitude
they can't guide you through these
corridors of this struggle to stay alive
in the way that we all call on one another
now we notice ourselves again
the heat of our bodies
the way that they've shaped and
the traits that they've formed and
the way they move and
the way that we cant sleep alone anymore
my dreams are even more
terrifying than my life
and every day i feel more lost in myself
every single cell inside
my body is betraying me
and now we notice that what we see
is all we have left, are
we forced to cut ties with all physicality?
is it in our minds
just like how they say?
but how can you say
"everything is intrinsic",
"everything is essential",
"there is no 'lost'"?
sunrise
today falls
against our eyes
forced to lie
we fight
against both sides and
(i'm caught)
we're forced inside
(falling in cycles)
our lives
(now)
but we'll never learn
and we'll never change
we'll wait outside
together.
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5. |
Older Pt.3
02:55
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i tried everything
to make this right
but every day i'm still living with
constant flaws in myself
i woke up cold and alone
too scattered and
too helplessly afraid
of everyone else
but i won't stop
i won't learn
until my heart's in shreds
i will rip
i will tear
my body apart
it's not mine
it's not me
it's somebody else.
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6. |
Exulansis
05:04
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i wish you were happy
that's all i want
but we don't
have any way to navigate
all the routes through
the truama and the shame
we want to be close but
we're so trapped inside ourselves
so tonight i'll think about
how far i fall into the
fear i feel that's not my own
i'll think a lot about these things
but if we don't fall apart together
if we can hold onto each other
will you take me away from here
even if you dont know where you're going
or how?
is it past present or future
in pictures in my head
i can't ever seem to figure it out
meaning degrades a little more with
every word that i say and i
can't understand a single feeling
i've ever felt
authenticity is probably
the thinnest veil of them all
"why don't you just stop"
is what he would have said
he could never understand these things
he carried so much sadness inside
when the noise finally cleared
he didn't speak for years
but you were not the one that stepped on everybody else
you were not the one that didn't understand
you were not the one that almost gave up
i'll always wish i could have been there
i'll always want to make it stop
i wish you were happy
that's all i want
this is what our fathers left for us
this is what we can't take back.
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